“There is no small expression in life; life is big, full, and richly complicated. And, if I am honest, is rather uncalculating, unwieldy, and often (for the lost souls amongst you) without a real point.”
(A quote someone should have said)
But life is also keenly ironic, simple, and purposeful. Case in point–God created the one individual that I would love for the rest of my life, or the one individual that would love me for the rest of Hers. To suggest that in all the world I found my one, is to happily stare into the face of 29 previous years full of misspent youth, to allow you to understand the lessons I needed to learn. As I stand as testament to God in His glory… giving me this slice of His Heaven…allow me to testify.
Side Note: I am long winded at times…I left a pause for a few of your snide remarks (those who know me). I also can interpose other points during my delivery. It seems scattered but there is a point. So, I may hit you with a “side note” every now and again.
I won’t bore you with the unnecessary details; and by that same token, I will not tell you all the good juicy parts. I will use the next few minutes of your day convincing you of something that you all know and I am lucky to experience every day.
I found Her. Calm, quiet, you could tell She was there but She wasn’t being intentional about it. She was self-aware and a lady. I learned to understand that this lady had a name. It was Black, and Black was loved. She was sincerely loved by all who knew her because She made a point of always knowing you. She was so beautiful to me. A beauty that cascades around you as She lets it be known. A beauty that She kept secret, pretending to be…cute.
Side Note: I have some strange views…including that a woman learns her beauty. If it is learned, it can’t be given, nor can it be taken away.
But make no mistakes, Her beauty is a solid and deep part of a rich history of beautiful mothers and grandmothers. A beauty that no man ever really deserves and can only sheepishly acknowledge. But therein spend the rest of his life in the pursuit of Her gaze, then a fight for Her attention, all for the love of Her embrace. Her hair… well, it got me. I have since learned to guard every inch, jealously! Yeah, I’ve got issues. I am smitten…done…through trying! There is LOVE but this some different shit–I wish I could explain, but the details necessary to tell that story would have no place on this “family friendly” site. I can tell you this, it becomes really easy when you find the person that doesn’t accept your faults, but gives you the reason to improve. She brought a little light to my shadow, a joy to my perpetual sadness, a smile to my frown. She changed me when I needed it the most. Hopefully, I add as much to Her as She has given to me, so my perpetual task never ends…making Her happy.
But here is the best part…underneath it all when you really get to know a person; when you “BE WIT“ somebody and really know who they are…yep, She is beautiful on the inside too. She is so caring and loving and considerate, and graceful; She is what I think of when I say “Woman”. A kind soul that touches you, that hugs you with such compassion. I hate to tell you all this but, She really does care. She listens to your stories at Walmart, She helps the lady bring in her dry cleaning, She brings each teacher a personal gift every year. mon, who does that!
Side Note: I think it’s a factor of how She grew uhe was raised in a little pocket of New Orleans, between her MaGen and Big Daddy, Granddaddy and Grandmother, and her parents. So much love is my theory. So much love forces you to see the world with love.
Don’t get me wrong, this was no “paint by numbers” life. You read her story. I think sometimes life churns you up to keep your heart tender. She has a tender heart. She has raised four kids, managed a grown man and kept all of her family close. She has a tender heart. She has provided me with three miracles that She cares for every day. These three miracles grace our lives each leaving their own unique foot step, and She made them…for me. They are us, and I am blessed!
Now the exciting part! She is turning Forty on May 5 (inside joke)! I am sad and excited. She is owed a pause. She is owed applause. Four kids and me, that’s a lot by anyone’s standards. But baby, you’ve got us in tow, and I ain’t worried. So now…what’s next? That’s why I am excited! It took Forty Years, but now She knows herself; now She is confident; now She realizes it is not how the world sees you, it’s how you demonstrate to the world. Love the world and world will see the love in you. Just know this…I live to be better for You, to be the best for our kids, and to make all ya’ll proud.
I consider my life special. I have my God, my people, and my Woman. As I write this I will not easily suggest to you that I’ve found my purpose, or have completely identified my point, or realized my destiny. The degree by which life happens, as the angle of our view changes, affects us all. We all get older- some better, some worse. But, if I’m honest…I can’t wait to see what She does next. And if I am really honest…I am just happy whatever She does next is with me.